Beginnings

“A beginning is a delicate time…” – pretty sure I’ve misquoted that from Frank Herbert, but it’s been buzzing around in my head all day.


I always seem to be reluctant to start (I call it my brain stutter) – I have this inescapable notion that I should have things perfect in my mind before I begin, it’s almost a fear of committing anything to paper…
Well, no, that’s not entirely true – I have scribble pads, old exercise books, post-it notes, disposable scraps of paper I scratch out thoughts, work ideas out and then throw away.
The concept of a sketchbook or journal is one I genuinely find quite terrifying – it’s the thought of fixing things down to be scrutinised – possibly by other people!


Dreadful.


But the entire point of doing this is to use my practice as a research process, so I’ve got to do my ‘working out’ in public, even all the messy bits, mistakes, cul-de-sacs and dead ends – hence this blog.
I also believe this will be a very good exercise for me as a writer. I’m not particularly confident at writing things down in a linear way, I tend more towards fragmentary notes connected by (often quite arbitrary) lines of association (more like what get referred to as ‘mind-maps’ – though I bloody hate the term!). I like being able to shuffle things about, see how they link together – I struggle to fix them down in a way that makes sense and I get stuck in loops, it’s like trying to pin down spiderwebs!

So please excuse the ramblings.

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